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10 Tips to Avoid Your Illness Support Group Becoming Depressing

By: Lisa Copen If you live with chronic pain or an illness, odds are that you have attended a support group at least once since you were diagnosed. Did it feel something like this?

Despite feeling exhausted and in pain, you decided you would attend the group anyways. By the time you got there you were running late, couldn't find the suite number, and finally just parked and hiked to an upstairs room in a dark wing of the hospital. You quietly found a seat, a hard, sticky seat. People smiled at you, but soon they got back to their discussion and it seemed no one was feeling encouraged by it. They argued over the side effects of medicine being worth the benefits, two people tried to convince you to buy a juicer from them, and soon you were ready to run screaming from the room. It's too depressing!

Aren't support groups supposed to be valuable in learning how to cope with illness and encourage one another?

Yes, they are! Studies done on support groups by David Spiegel, MD, have found that support groups do improve the quality of life for their attendees. Recently studies have concluded, however, that the lifespan of a patient with cancer may not increase because of a support group environment (CANCER, Sept 2007). However, we cannot deny the fact that the validation of one's feelings about their illness definitely makes a difference in how they cope with chronic illness.

You may attend a support group, or perhaps even lead one, but regardless of how long you have (or have not) participated in one, it's likely that you've seen the slippery slope of how quickly people can go from sharing honest, vulnerable feelings to a session of complaints and even quarreling. Looking for fresh and fun icebreaker games for small groups to perk things up?

Here are 10 ideas to help create some humor and joy in your support group. You can evade some of those bitter moments that can so easily come out in conversation about illness. Some simple planning can make you feel enthused about your next get together. These ideas will work for any groups, from a Rhode Island support group for CFS to a diabetes support group for those in Marion County, Florida. And they a great tool to have when you are creating a proposal for starting up a support group.

1. Before your meeting, cut out some smiley faces and sad faces and glue them on each side of a stick or a plastic knife. When everyone goes around the room to share about their experiences or emotions of the week, ask people to make sure they are able to hold up both "faces'. For example, Beth may say, "I'm not looking forward to my joint replacement surgery and all the rehab afterwards" while holding up the sad side of the stick. And then she flips it to think of something positive to say "I feel blessed though, that the insurance is covering a lot of the expenses and my friends have volunteered to help take care of my children."

2. Redefine your conception of what counts as indoor games for small groups. For example, start a JOY box and ask everyone to bring an item for it that someone else can take home with them. Have each person choose an item at the end of the meeting. It could be a silly toy, a cartoon, a rubber fish, or great book, a poem, a note someone sent that encouraged you, or even a funny DVD. Ask everyone to return them at the next meeting and exchange it for another item. Refresh the box up now and then.

3. Here's a unique icebreaker for small groups. Make a silly theme song that you use to start the meeting. You can pick a song and make up new lyrics too. Check out comedian Anita Renfroe for some good ideas about how to make a song your own at her web site.

4. Bring some corny things to use during your meetings. Avoid making anyone feel pressured to use them. (If you force someone to wear a clown nose she may never come back) Have them available, however, and encourage goofiness before getting down to the real reasons you are there. Oriental Trading supply is the source of thousands of funny items guaranteed to spur a giggle.

5. Don't allow the group to turn into a platform for any one member who talks incessantly about her illness, the treatment, the alternative treatments or even her complaints. If you have someone dominating the conversation, tell the group you are implementing a timer and set your own guidelines. (For example, can people vent for 60 seconds about anything they want? Can they share about an alternative treatment they want the group to try? Give them a time limit.)

6. Ask everyone to bring an encouraging item to include in a gift basket for someone in need who is either unable to attend the group or not even a member. Put your heads together about what kinds of items to include. You can find over five-hundred simple ideas in the book "Beyond Casseroles." Remember personal notes mean a lot, even from people you don't know, so ask people to write a sentence or two to include with the item.

7. Have a fun night out. You can act your age and go to a nice sit-down restaurant or head over to Chuck E. Cheese for some pin ball. It can definitely be a successful icebreaker for small groups because people who haven't opened up much in the group may feel relieved to have this environment to get to know others.

8. Hand out articles and other resources that encourage people to thrive despite their illness. You can find fun items through the National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week website like "My illness is invisible but my hope shines through."

9. Listen to a recording of potential guest speakers before inviting them to speak if possible. Some can be quite depressing. Let guest speakers know that you'd like their presentation to be on the positive side despite the topic of illness. Tell them they are welcome to tell a joke, pass out props, or whatever will keep people listening and also encouraged.

10. Sit down with your group and discuss what kinds of things you could do to create change. Illness often robs people of feeling useful. Even though your group may not be able to physically walk for a charity event, you could work at a registration table, or distribute water. Teens with chronic illness are often a great inspiration in getting a support groups involved in a higher calling. Remind people they can be part of something positive.

Support groups can be one of the most vital tickets to living successfully with chronic illness, but the atmosphere of the group can make or break its effectiveness. With these few simple steps, your group can be a place of refuge and relaxation, creating an environment for people to live their best lives, despite the existence of an illness.

Article Source: http://www.lifeweightloss.com

Instant download of more ideas for icebreakers for small groups with your free gift of 200 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend from "Beyond Casseroles" by Lisa Copen. Just sign up for a weekly encouragement ezine, HopeNotes.

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