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7 Funny Wedding One-Liners

By: Wendy Wilkes When did people start giving wedding toasts? Any idea? It wasn't until recently. That surprises many people. In spite of the recency of the tradition, the tradition seems to have taken hold. And now many people within the wedding party are expected to give toasts. Toasts can be solemn or funny. And they're a great chance to wish the couple well.

Let me level with you. It can be tough to give a toast. Some people just wing it, and give a toast off the top of their heads. But most people are far too conscientious to take such a flippant attitude toward this responsibility. Most want to do a good job. Well, I don't have any good long toasts for you in this article, but I do have some funny lines you could work in.

You might need to do a longer toast than what you'll find here, but here are some great one-liners, just to get you started.

1. To marriage . . . a word that means commitment . . . to an insane asylum.

2. Getting married for the fringe benefits is like buying a shirt for one of the buttons.

3. Want to remember your wife's birthday. Forget it once, and you should have no trouble remembering the next time.

4. If a man says something in the forest, and his wife is not there to hear him, is he still wrong?

5. If you see a man open the car door for his wife, it's either a new car . . . or a new wife.

6. A groom told his bride that he would go through hell for her. How right he was.

7. "If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married." -Katharine Hepburn

Now, we know these probably aren't helping that much with YOUR toast. But maybe they put a smile on your face, and now you can get to work on your toast. Good luck!