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Getting Children to Sleep

By: Dr. Noel Swanson In order for us to get restful sleep, we need to be relaxed. In order to relax, a number of things have to happen. First of all, we need to feel safe and secure. Obviously, if there is tension in the house - abuse, parents rowing, problems with finances or neighbours, or else problems at school or with friends, it will be much harder to relax and fall asleep.

We also need to feel secure and safe in the bed. Some children with sensory integration difficulties, such as problems with touch sensitivity, body position sense (proprioception), or gravitational insecurity may find lying down on a high bed difficult. Such children may be helped by having heavy blankets that help them to feel more grounded.

To sleep, we then need to turn our minds off the business of the day, shut out the distractions of the environment and slow down our heart rate and metabolism. As we drift into sleep, not only does the body slow down, so too does the brain. Brain waves, which are often running along at 14 Hertz (cycles per second) or more during the day, will slow down first to an "alpha" rhythm (around 10 Hz) and then gradually right down to the deep sleep of a "delta" rhythm (4-7 Hz).

Everyone has to quiet their minds before they can fall asleep. It isn't always easy, but we need to learn how to let go of what happened during the day, close our ears and minds to any environmental distractions, and slow our heart rates and metabolism. During the day our brainwaves run at 14 Hertz, or cycles per second. They may even cycle higher. When we fall asleep the brain and body both slow down. During the first stage of sleep our brainwaves slow to an "alpha" rhythm of about 10 Hz. During deep or "delta" sleep we are running at 4 to 7 Hz.

Soak in a warm tub and drink some warm milk. The bath relaxes our bodies, allowing the metabolism to slow down. It doesn't have to stay active and generate heat. Muscles relax when they are warm. The warm milk contains Tryptophan. This is an amino acid which acts as a natural sedative. Stay away from caffeinated drinks like Coke, tea or coffee. Don't engage in activities which will wind you up or frustrate you. Keep the kids away from the frustrations of homework or the activity of the Gameboy.

A nice bedtime story is very calming. It focuses away from daily anxieties and provides special child-parent time. Feeling loved and valued lets the child feel more safe and secure. If you wish, you might play a taped story after you read to him. Pick a soothing story and turn out the lights so he can listen with his eyes closed.

Read your child a story at bedtime. Make sure that there isn't anything frightening in it. Besides having a calming effect, you are engaging in some special time together. Knowing that they are loved and cherished, tells children that their world is safe. When you're finished reading, turn on a recorded story that is peaceful and quiet. Turn off the lights and soon he'll be listening with closed eyes and drifting off.

Since we can't close our ears, relaxing music might help lessen the shock and disturbance of hearing sounds from our environment. Sudden noises and those not expected tend to wake us and cause stress. Some sounds we can't control are a barking dog at the neighbors, a fox or other creature howling, or even lorries passing the house. However, we can take some steps to modify our environment. Using heavy drapes or curtains, double glazed windows and closing doors can aid in keeping out some sounds.

For sleep, we need to listen to low pitched sounds with a slow rhythm. We should try for a beat of 50 to 60 Hz, the rate or our resting hearts. Where do we find these sounds? Some classical music and some nature sounds qualify. I recommend recordings made specially for relaxation. Some of the best are made by Steven Halpern. The Sound Health Series CDs, called "Relax" and "De-Stress" are great. Play them quietly as background noise to drown out the dogs and to create a peaceful environment in the child's bedroom. If he wakes often during the night, consider playing continuous-play CD.

The ideal beat for creating a sleeping environment is 50 to 60 Hz. That matches the heart rate when we are relaxed. It should be pitched low and the rhythm should be slow. These factors will help our hearts slow their beating. Where do we look to find the appropriate sounds? Some nature recordings, such as rolling waves will do the trick, as will certain classical music. I recommend tapes or CDs that are made expressly for relaxation. Some of the best I have found are by Steven Halpern and the Sound Health Service CDs called "Relax" and "De-Stress". Play them softly in the background so as to make a gentle sound environment in the bedroom. They will also help to drown out those disrupting background noises. Some children don't sleep deeply enough and are awakened frequently. If your child has that problem, consider playing a CD on continuous play. It will calm your child throughout her sleep.

Blue is for serenity, green for harmony and peace, pink instills warmth and cosiness. All of these, especially if in muted tints, are ideal of bedrooms, although blue and green may produce too cold an atmosphere. On the other hand bright and vibrant colours such as yellows and reds will rev us up and keep us awake. The effects are subtle and certainly not conscious, but even so are very real.

Think about the colour spectrum. Blue is meant for us to feel serene, green harmonious and peaceful, while pink signals warmth and feeling cozy. These quiet colours are perfect for bedrooms. Be careful with the blues and greens however, as they can also feel cold. Using yellows, reds and other lively colours in a bedroom, isn't a good idea. Even though the effects are subtle, they may get our blood flowing and keep us from sleep. These effects are usually subconscious but that doesn't make them any less real.

There is one other feature of natural flames that makes it so relaxing - it flickers. Typically, in fact, if flickers at a rate of about 6-7 Hz. The brain tends to entrain to this frequency, which produces the very relaxed state of "theta wave" activity.

Of course it may not be safe to have a candle, oil lamp or open fire in your child's bedroom! So how can we get around this? One option is to use the electrical bulbs that simulate a flickering flame. The other is to use speciality lamps such as fibre optic lamps that produce a low level of light, that gradually changes from one colour to another. They may not flicker at 7 Hz, but the slow and gentle changes are themselves relaxing, as are the colour changes, provided they are not too bright. Other children prefer to simply have a dark room with no lights on. Certainly it pays to have thick curtains that screen out the late night and early morning light of the summer sun.

Aroma. Smell is, in fact, the most primitive and basic of our senses. How often have you had a brief whiff of some smell that has brought certain memories and emotions to come flooding back? Smells affect our emotional state, and the right smells can help us to sleep. Recommended for sleep are the essential oils of mandarin, chamomile roman, lavender and palma rosa. For children over five, neroli, geranium and nutmeg can be added to the list. These oils can be combined, with a mixture of mandarin, chamomile and palma rosa, and also of chamomile, geranium and nutmeg being particularly effective. The oils can be put in bath water, rubbed on the skin with massage oil, or put in the water of the humidifier. Once again, moderation is the key. It is subtlety that we are looking for, not an overpowering smell.

Humidity and fresh air. In the winters we tend to have the windows closed, and the heating on. The closed window cuts out the outside noises, but also cuts out the fresh air. Furthermore, the heating dries out the air, which in turn dries out our nasal passages. Stuffy air and uncomfortable noses are a common cause of poor sleep and wakening in the late parts of the night. Opening the window a crack may help.

The humidity can be improved in three ways. One is to simply turn the heating down, and compensate with more blankets ( which may help the child to "feel grounded"). The other is to add some moisture to the air. This can be down with a humidifier (which may also produce some background white noise), or simply by draping a wet flannel over the radiator. Put a couple of drops of essential oil in the water or on the flannel, and you will also provide a gentle aroma in the room.

There are three possibilities for improving humidity in the bedroom. First, consider turning the heat down and covering your child with more blankets. This also serves the purpose of helping him to feel grounded. Second, you may want to use a humidifier. They can actually fulfill two purposes; creating both moisture and white noise. The third option is to lay a wet flannel or towel over the radiator. If you add a small amount of essential oils, the child also receives the benefit of a soothing aroma.

Most of us wake up during the night at least once and more likely two or three times. Even when we are not fully awake, too often we are unable to fall back to sleep. Some of the things mentioned above will help in that department, but there are other things to consider. Don't give your child a lot of extra attention when she wakes up in the middle of the night. This will only reinforce the behaviour until it becomes a habit. The younger the child the more likely she is to cry or make some type of sound. Try to avoid running in to soothe her. For one thing it will cause her to come more fully awake and for another it will reinforce the waking pattern. Usually if you can just let children be, they will fall back to sleep. It probably won't happen right away because they will be waiting for you to come rushing in. If you can tough it out, they will start going back to sleep sooner. There are so many possibilities for helping children to sleep that you can probably come up with some other good ideas.

But what about yourself? As a parent, how ofter to you wish you could just catch up on some sleep? How often do you feel worn out, tired and exhausted? Or wish you could just catch a few zzz's before the kids get home? Most likely, you are still believing in some 19th Century myths about sleep. Take a look at this website to discover some amazing facts about sleep that could seriously transform your life. May you have peaceful nights and pleasant dreams.

Article Source: http://www.lifeweightloss.com

For a free newsletter about child behavior and parenting and for his highly acclaimed book, The GOOD CHILD Guide, visit Dr. Noel Swanson's website www.good-child-guide.com.
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