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Getting To Date Number Two

By: Pam Baldwin Initially your goal shouldn't be to get a second date. It should be to get to know the other person and then decide if you even want a second date. If your date has an agreeable personality then they are probably going to want a second date anyway.

If, on the other hand, you have been set up with this person through one of the numerous dating sites online then this is actually your "second date." On these sites they match people up based on your personalities and allow you to get to know each other in an informal setting. Getting to the second date is very similar in how you get to the first date with the person you met online.

Your date should have the privilege of getting to know the real you as much as possible during that first meeting. If you're unconfident or nervous then it hides who you really are. Be yourself and let your real personality come through. Slight nervousness is expected with first dates but you if you can't even set still during the date then it's going to take away from who you are.

True confidence comes with experience and success. It's sort of paradoxical that you have to succeed before you can really succeed, but you can always do the actor's favorite trick: fake it until you make it. Work on projecting an air of confidence and holding in self-destructive things like "I boiled my last boyfriend's bunny." But don't cross the line into prat or schmuck.

To actually become likeable you have to be able to embrace all of your flaws and downfalls. If they happen to come out during your date then just laugh them off and move on. Everyone has flaws so you shouldn't be ashamed of yours. Be wary that your date doesn't focus to much on your flaws. If they do then they probably aren't someone you want to go out with again.

Don't worry if there isn't a strong emotional connection right away. They take time to develop, especially if you want one that lasts. However, if you have similar senses of humor, think similarly, and make eye contact easily then you have the start of a good emotional connection.

Here's the biggest thing: you want to end on a high note, when everything's going well. That way you leave the other person wanting more, which is really how to get the second date: by getting them to want to see more of you.

Don't fake an excuse to leave or you'll seem uninterested. Rather, set a time limit at the start of the date (an hour or so is good) and stick to it. Unless it's going really well. Then you can have the second date in the morning.

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