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Kids who Steal - What Can You Du About It?

By: Dr. Noel Swanson There are a lot of reasons kids steal. Some kids steal for comfort, to impress a group of friends, get retaliate against their parents, or sometimes to simply get the things they want.

So how do you stop it? Obviously, if you can help them to find another way to meet their needs, then they won't have to continue with the stealing.

Repeat offenders do so for one simple reason: because it works. Regardless of their motivation: attention, money, or excitement, the stealing fulfils their needs.

At the same time, model it yourself. What do you do when you find a wallet in the street? Or when you are given too much change in a shop? Your children will be watching you, and learning.

Keep an eye on your kids, watching for good behavior. Each time they perform an act of honesty, no matter how small, be sure to reward and praise them.

In the unfortunate event that you do catch them stealing something, don't overreact. Don't let them lie about it, but also don't reward their attention seeking with a display of temper.

Next talk to your child about righting the wrong. This goes beyond returning the stolen item. It includes paying for the disruption and disrespect that he or she also committed. The best way is to have the child take care of the wrongdoing with you supplying lots of support. These are some examples:

Return the goods to the manager of the shop, school child, or teacher, along with some compensation and an apology.

If taken from a stranger, confiscate the goods (perhaps hand them in at the police station) and impose a fine.

In the event that he spent the money or sold the item to get money, require him to sell something of his own. You can even buy it from him but make sure that he knows the item is gone forever.

Ask the victim to tell you what kind of service your child could perform. If you don't know the victim, then a friend, family member or neighbor could be the beneficiary.

Giving him the chance to return the stolen goods to the victim, teaches your child about doing the right thing. If he won't do it then it's up to you to set an even higher penalty. You must stay on message, which is always doing the honest thing. Honesty is the best policy even if it comes after the theft.

Avoid a long grounding sentence. Jail does not reform hardened criminals, and grounding will probably not reform your own little angel.

Finally, once it is over, get over it. Get back into reward mode, look for the things your child is doing right, not wrong, and work hard at reinforcing honesty. It is the stealing that is the enemy, not your child.

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Dr. Noel Swanson, Consultant Child Psychiatrist and author of The GOOD CHILD Guide, specializes in children's behavioural difficulties and writes a free newsletter for parents. He can be contacted through his website: www.good-child-guide.com. This article is copyright. You are encouraged, however, to freely copy it provided this signature block is included without modification (other than the addition of your own affiliate link)

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