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Parterapi (Couples Therapy) - It May Save Your Marriage

By: Ilan Wolffberg Divorce rates in Denmark are among the highest in the world, making the word "parterapi", Danish for couples therapy, of vital importance to a great number of Danish couples

Many people I've asked, see parterapi as a last ditch effort prior to divorce. Dissatisfied and disgruntled for a long time, one may have tried with long talks and arguments. Nothing helps. One may have spoken with friends and relatives, priests and bartenders - good advice is hard to find. Eventually one is close to giving up.

Parterapi is seen by many as the last resort. The final step in an heroic attempt at saving a realtionship on the brink of failure. Having to pay for outside help is also painful. And is it worth the money ?...

When a couple, after many deliberations, finally decides to visit a couples therapist, their expectations are often quite different. The one may already have given up and hopes for help (or courage?) to end the painful situation. Perhaps the man (or woman) doesn't really want to, but lets him/herself be "dragged" into therapy because there are no good arguments left but he/she doesn't want to be the one seen as responsible for the fiasco.

Many arrive in the hope that some quick advice will be forthcoming that can help them get back on track so they can continue with the happy realtionship they had before it all went wrong.

- and many are told, to their surprise, that the therapist cannot offer a magical cure. They discover that they need to begin a period of hard work and that the help they can get from a therapist consists of guidance and support in the rebuiding of a stable and trustful relationship. They also discover that it may take more time than they thought and that the work involved may be harder than anticipated and that progress may not be smooth but that relapses can be expected. Hopefully they will share laughter and tears along the way and find the courage to continue.

It takes courage to reveal oneself to another. Courage to share one's thoughts and aspirations, courage to share one's innermost feelings. It takes courage to show one's strengths and weaknesses and courage to stand up - fearful and without protection - and encounter another, open and vulnerable.

It may not be surprising that so many couples do not attempt therapy. Or give up after only a few tries.

For those who succeed, the payoff is great. They end therapy with increased confidence in themselves, in life and in each other. They acquire strategies they can apply to solve future difficulties and disagreements. They get increased insight into their own ways of meeting the world and how they are different from each other and thereby can help each other to achieve more than either can achieve alone.

And often they ponder: "What made us wait so long?", "I wish we had known all this long ago", "Just thionk of how happy we could have been all this time.", "If only we had known"

Article Source: http://www.lifeweightloss.com

Having marital problems? Ilan Wolffberg is an American parterapi expert and has been residing in Denmark for over 30 years. Read his views on couples therapy at "On Couples Therapy" and in Danish at "Om parterapi"
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